Is My Prescription Ready?
by Ereka Rayne
Summary: Why bother suffering when you can drug yourself into oblivion? If there’s nothing to live for, why should life matter? Pharmacist Axel loves life, and Drug Addict Roxas doesn't what love is anymore. Drug Abuse/Recovery, language, violence, homosexuality
1. Chapter 1

***All chapters of this story were edited on 2/7/10.***

**Hey everyone~! My second non-oneshot Kingdom Hearts story! Woo! Now this story will be a tad weird, but I hope you enjoy! I guess I should explain the way that I thought up this... As with my other story, this one deals with serious issues.**

**I was at Walgreen's earlier yesterday and got inspired to write this. It wasnt just a plot-bunny that hit me, folks, it was a plot brick, the type that doesn't tickle your brain, it full-blown football-tackles it. Walgreens, in the Pharmaceutical section. By the way, the Walgreen's pharmacy in my neighborhood has the most horrid, abysmal service...You'd think that the pharm technicians became teenagers getting paid less-then-minimum at some grocery store or something. But moving on...**

**I had to go buy my mom some medicine because she was suffering from a bout of nasty allergies, and here you have to show a driver's licence for it which probably means the drug in question is abused by a lot of people. My mind wandered to what would happen in a very odd yet hilarious scenario: "So which gang you dealing to, kid?" "o_0' My mother?" XD Anyways, it made me think of druggies and sexy pharmacists then that went to Axel and Roxas. Don't ask me how. It just did. **

**But I digress. I hope you all enjoy my newest creation!**

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Kingdom Hearts nor make any monetary value from writing this.**

**Rated M for many reasons. Contains drugs, spoilers for KH 358/2 Days, drug abuse and recovery, violence, bad language, and HOMO-sexual activity. Do not approve of any of that, do not read, but you might be missing out on a lovely story.**

**There are going to be beautiful moments and very ugly moments in this story. There is nothing amazing and fun about abusing drugs and it should never be glorified... yet there is always a chance to recover. I hope I portray that as succinctly as possible in this fan fiction.**

**Enjoy.**

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_"I'd Like to Pick Up A Prescription, Please..."_

Roxas ran his hands through his hair, gripping the ends and tugging antsily. He. Needed. A. Fix. Yawning, he stared up at the pockmarked ceiling of his lonely living room (If one could even call the room something "living") and dug his heel into his ratty, musty futon, complete with stains from who-knows-where and fluff falling out of an undone seam. The place he lived in was inherited by his great uncle, DiZ, whom died in some freak accident and left the house to Roxas, the house debt completely paid off. It was a three story tall rickety old thing that looked like it belonged in some fable rather then in Twilight Town. Complete with an army of cockroaches, hoards of dust, and elusive Shadows that roamed about on the top floor that had had no human interaction in fear of a painful aerial death (or perhaps one by dust-bunnies), it was what the boy called home.

Well, at least, Roxas called the 'living' room home. The floors and areas with surface space were littered with trash, soda cans that were sometimes still full, half-eaten containers of take-out, broken glass, dust, magazines, clothes and anything that was lucky enough to be discarded. The floor, if you could even deem it one, needed a bad polish, and the room in general looked as if a tornado had hit. Or prehaps a bus, for one side of the room had splintered wood, paint dust and chips, and spiderwebs and metal scattered in a pile, a rather large square-shaped hole directly above it indicating that something _heavy_ had fallen from the room above. The object in question was unidentified as the huge heaping pile was large enough to hide a stove within.

His mother had been a doctor, or more precisely, a neurosurgeon, if you will. She had prescribed narcotics and painkillers from ibuprofen to synthetic heroin to her patients to find relief from the pains of spinal surgery or whatever else ailed them. Roxas had started experimenting with some light narcotics after a dare, seventeen years young. Who knew that narcotics were so addicting in his family? The 'friends' that dared him were in a gang fight in Hollow Bastion a few months later. They died. Roxas' addiction stayed.

So of course, Roxas' tolerance grew greater, and slowly Roxas moved onto greater things.

No one knew exactly what happened to his mother, but people last heard of her running off to some distant land.....

She wasn't dead, that much was certain. For all anyone knew, she could have simply hidden herself within that rickety old mansion. But after the law enforcement had engaged in a manhunt across five worlds, they figured a woman such as herself, if she wanted to be hidden, woman stay hidden. If she was dead, nothing could be done...the murderer would be caught eventually...but she wasn't. So out of some legal anomaly, her signature was still legal.

Such was the way the law of Twilight worked... and such it would always be. Months would pass and turn into years, and people would forget.... and Roxas dared to fill a prescription and sign it with his mother's name, easily feigning the almost indistinguishable writing all doctors seemed to use. He needed the drugs, he needed to be high, he needed this _feeling_. That was the addiction talking, yet Roxas didn't care. Once you were hooked you stayed that way, or so he thought. It was so easy to believe.

_"For my brother... He got in a c-car accident a-and...," _Roxas would mumble, faking the haunted voice and looking distraught, piercing and shattering and bruising the heart of the nice, kind young woman who was on shift. He didn't need to fake the act, though. He had the cute boyish look and the sunken-in, dead looking eyes of a drug addict that would've easily passed as someone in mourning, baby fat still on his cheeks. He was shaky, twitchy, scared to deathhe was going to get caught and thrown in the slammer for the better part of a decade, but the woman had given him the drugs, and for a whole month, he had a supply, and sold the remaining five at the end to some desperate street-corner hooker for a two-hundred-and-fifty munny a pop. 1250 munny, another month's worth of _whatever, _plus a wellfare check from the corrupt government.

Four years had passed, since that first incident with the fraudulent prescription note, and Roxas had upgraded to stronger, harder substances, changing his Moogleland's as he moved through higher drugs. He'd gone through one store, _"Bro's doing great now, thanks so much!" _to another. Roxas was not stupid. On the contrary, he was highly intelligent, if a tad naive in some spots. Of course, the drugs carousing through his system dumbed him down substantially, but he'd grown quite the tolerance to the medicines.

Had he no conscience? Of course, but conscience was happily lost in a drug-induced coma somewhere in the far corner of Roxas' brain....

So here we find twenty-year old Roxas, a young adult with seemingly no future except to wander over to the nearest Moogleland, illegally obtain controlled substances, get high, and sleep about on a musty futon, and repeat. No human interaction except a "_Hi, how are you sir?_" and a "_Hope your family member gets well sir, pleasant day!_" Once or twice a month...

Roxas was lounging on the dirty futon, scuffing a bare foot as he yawned. He brought shaky fingers to his mouth to try and catch the yawn before it escaped but let his hand fall back, snorting. "What....a day." The blond spoke to himself, turning over on his side although it ached terribly to do so. A small mirror hung on the wall next to him, right at the place where his face generally was. "Huh...R...oxas...?" He let out a small chuckle, bringing the shaky hand to the mirror to to trace the pathetic reflection called his face. "You look like sh..it, man." His blond hair was slightly matted, sullied another shade with dirt and fluids. His azure eyes blinked out at him, clouded over with the drug haze. "Almost out of pill..s, h..uh...." He groaned, "Need...more in a few...days. Hurts..." The short man fumbled for a bottle of Lithium, spasms from his muscles causing him severe pain. Shakily opening bottle, he fished one capsule out, downing it dry. "Much better..." the blond whispered, arching his back up as he tried to get rid of the tensing muscle pains.

Roxas shut his eyes and watched the darkness, shapes and colors dancing across it like fireworks. They formed a happy girl, smiling and grinning, trippily swirling away after he focused on her. "Xion..." He muttered incoherently, falling back into a slumber.

Another factor that caused him to begin to do drugs: His best friend, the best thing in his life, the thing that gave him purpose and meaning, and she died in his arms. He was not to be forgiven....but that did not matter now.

* * *

_Darkness_

Axel yawned, chucking a pen at the reinforced-glass of the Pharmacy window bitchily as his last, mouthy customer gave him an earful about some drug's price. Two baby-goths loitering at the front desk giggled, making Axel grit his teeth. Why did females have to be attracted to him like flies to food? During the past three hours the redhead had dealt with countless amounts of females from ten to sixty-three. It annoyed him sometimes, but his boss loved it: Axel's good looks attracted more buisness.

He turned to the two girls with a Moogleland grin. "Care to try out our newest sample of cod liver oil, ladies?" After a moment of confusion, the girls made disgusted faces, squealed and hauled tail. _Eeewu! But he was TOTALLY sexy!_

Rolling his eyes, the redhead turned and watched another Moogleland employee-- his best friend Demyx (He'd so cunningly conned the blond into the job, to suffer with him)-- stock the Woman's Hygeine shelf with a snicker. The man was blushing slightly, causing the people in the near vicinity to either giggle like idiots or snicker like Axel was doing. "Having fun there, Demyx?" Axel smirked, resting his head in his arms on the counter. Said man blushed harder and retorted, "Well, at least I'm not selling Yaz and diaphragms to old ladies!" Axel choked, and a few men strolling around snorted and coughed, walking away quickly.

"Low blow, Dem," Axel stuck out his tongue, but he didn't really mind much by the insult, it _was_ true after all.

Demyx shot him a look, but the pout on his face ruined the intended effect. "Who works on their twenty-fifth birthday, Axel?" The blond man sighed exasperatedly.

"Who the fuck works at Moogleland, period?"

"_Touche_..."

Axel sighed, and as a customer drove to the window, he jerked his thumb back in the direction, an overeager intern ready to take care of the drive-by window. They certainly called it that for a reason...thus calling for _reinforced glass _to be installed.

Axel rolled his eyes and adjusted his pony-tail. Stupid kids....

****~*****~****

**How'd you guys like the first chapter? It was a spur of the moment thing, and it is now 6:20 am with noooo sleep. 8'D So we have Druggie!Roxas and a newly twenty-fived Axel, who seems to work a dead end job as a pharmacist! Woo!**

**So in case you didnt know.... Yaz is a birth control, Lithium can be used to stop muscle spasms.**

**This is an AU -motions to the MOOGLELAND- and Shadows, aka the cute little heartless that plague you in the game, are like vermin X'D**

**Please read and review! They make me smile and make me write more. ;D**

**Much love! Rayne**


	2. Technology Kills

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Couches are for Sitting, Beds are for Sleeping

**Disclaimer: FYI, all my disclaimers are in my first chapter.**

**Axel x Roxas-centric fiction.**

**If someone would be interested in being a Beta reader I'd be estatic. (:**

**Enjoy!**

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Axel woke up in a _very _awkward position. His neck was at a sharp angle, resting in the crook of a sofa's hard arm and it's less-then-comfy seat cushion. Most of his body was slumped over the edge of the sofa and the floor, his right knee taking the brunt of his weight. Axel looked like a snake, body twisted unnaturally, and he shifted his position, trying to get comfortable in his half-asleep haze.

_Extremely bad idea._

Axel let out a wordless, pained moan and several things happened at that moment. His neck felt like it had been frozen then melted then frozen again and was now rapidly defrosting...in lava, the muscle stiff and sore as he moved. His left leg jerked as he tried to get into a more natural position and his foot kicked the power button on Demyx's television remote, static screaming out from all directions at once. (To Axel, he was being murdered in several different ways at once, but it was simply something called a Surround-Sound System.)

At this moment, Axel discovered that his voice could raise in pitch exponentially more then what he'd ever thought it had the capability of doing.

"_OHMYGODHELPMEI'MDYINGFUCKFUCKFUCKDEMYXFUCK!"_

Of course, the high-octave scream that spewed from Axel's lips did nothing to help his hangover headache, and he crumpled over, whimpering.

Crashing sounded from somewhere above Axel and he distantly wondered if he'd gone to Hell while he was sleeping.

"AXEL! OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?! DO YOU NEED 9-1-1 ARE YOU-- Oh...." Demyx's concerned voice and persona came thundering over to where Axel slouched, and Axel heard the awful screaming of banshees and demons subside as Demyx picked something up off the floor near his foot. A silent moment passed and the blond promptly began to roar in laughter. "BAHAHAHAHA AXEL I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING MURDERED HAHAHA YOU'RE _SUCH_ A HORRIBLE DRUNK!" He chortled in mirth, slapping Axel on the back soundly. Axel whimpered and felt his eyes roll into the back of his head. _If there is a merciful god out there, please kill me now..._

Demyx calmed himself and grabbed Axel from his armpits, hoisting the other back onto the couch with a grunt. "Wait here, you idiot," He chuckled, " I'll help you with that headache of yours~." The blond said in a singsong voice--the voice of Satan personified into a human body, according to Axel-- and produced a waste bin from the side of the couch as Axel promptly vomited the remains of last night's adventure into it. Demyx always seemed to know when Axel would do _what_ during his morning-afters.

A few moments passed and Demyx disappeared then reappeared with two Advil and a cup of something gross-looking to the shuddering redhead. "Drink up!" the blond trilled a bit mischievously, always enjoying this part of reviving Axel the most. Axel groaned and gingerly tipped his head back, Demyx chucking the Advil in as if he were shooting a basketball into a basket, before grabbing the glass of _yuck_ and pouring it down Axel's throat, who drank it like a shot of alcohol. Axel shook violently before leaning back down to dry heave, twitching. "That is so _gross, _Demy..." He groaned, coughing, and pulled his knees to his chest. His right one cracked three times as he dragged it in to his body and he let out a small hiss, Demyx twitching a bit himself.

"What have we learned?" The blond grinned widely, hand on a hip in an Axel-esque fashion as he stared down at the other.

"Demyx has a sadistic streak, his couch has an even worse one, and I am not a contortionist in any way, shape, or form and my body can not bend like one?" Axel asked weakly, stretching as his headache slowly ebbed away. Demyx giggled. "Correct, and the this is the fifth time I've tried to pull you to a bed and you've tried to eat my face.... not everyone trying to drag you to their bed is a hooker or someone desperate, Ax..." Feigned hurt spread across Demyx's deceivingly innocent features and Axel took a swipe at the other. "Yeah...you're just easy, Dem, and _ew._I wouldnt screw you, sorry.... And _how_ on earth are you this chipper.... you downed at least a bottle each of Bacardi... Grey Goose... you freak."

Grinning innocently, Demyx winked and stood up, tugging his boxers a bit higher on his hips as he stretched his muscles. "Oh, and you have an earlier shift then usual, your boss called an hour ago, _juuust_ to let you know~."

Pure silence.

Then,

"...._FUCK!"_

* * *

_Roxas POV_

A small, rodent-like squeak pierced the silence of the dark Manor's innards. Roxas, today much more coherent and sober, swore and pushed himself to sit on the edge of his musty futon, straining his ears to hear the sound again, along with the telltale _scritch scritch_ sound of a rodent scampering along his upper floors.

"Damn Shadows," He muttered, tentatively pushing off the bed. The blond stood unsteadily, standing still for a moment to let the dizziness of seeing everything in a different perspective fade, before he made his way to a small cabinet. Yet instead of clothes, the piece of furniture contained a set of cheap plastic shelves with Roxas' possessions among other things. The man shuffled through the items within on the top shelf before he withdrew a can marked Less-B-Gone in tacky bright orange lettering. He pushed the doors shut carelessly before turning around and strained to listen for the noises and the pesky source of them.

"You're supposed to stay in the attic." Roxas mumbled condescendingly. He raised the bottle and a small shriek of terror erupted from a dark area in a corner on his ceiling. Roxas unsteadily swung the can in that direction and pressed both his fingers on the trigger, and the telltale _hiss_of pressure released sounded. One inhuman shriek and a pile of black Shadow later, and Roxas' job was done. He made his small trek back to the cabinet and replaced the can of pesticide before he went to stand in the middle of his room.

Today, Roxas was high, as always. However, he had much more control over his senses, motor skills, nervous system, and _mind_ then usual.

You see, Roxas could not simply wake up one day, decide he was going to stop taking the wide arsenal of drugs he did, and live the day drug-free.

There is a process to this. Roxas, like most children at the ages of twelve and thirteen, had to take a class called Health in middle school. This class, along with teaching them the wonders of sex (that everyone knew already), the horrors of school bullying, so on, so forth, also taught them about drugs. Roxas learned that drugs had something called _withdrawal symptoms. _Some drugs had withdrawal symptoms like feeling tired, or moody. Others, like having a cold or flu. But some would _really _mess up your body. Roxas was on a lot of those 'some' drugs.

Because of this, if Roxas simply stopped everything he was on, he would die.

He would die in an excruciatingly torturous manner, and it would be an incredibly slow yet at the same time an impossibly fast death.

And Roxas did not want that. He wanted sweet, deliciously blissful oblivion. No problems, no troubles, nothing but a cloudy haze for him to float in. He did not want the pitch black nothingness of death.

So Roxas chose drugs. There is a risk, as always, but compared to having to face life, drugs were one risk Roxas was willing to take.

* * *

_Axel POV_

Having quickly sobered up (mostly at the fact that he would be late for _work_and partially the fact that he'd spilled his guts of rancid vomit among other things), Axel hopped in the shower, scrubbed viciously at himself with a bar of soap, ran Demyx's most scented shampoo and conditioner set through his hair (because having stale beer-hair around hot chicks and your boss Mr. Vexen was so _not cool)_, gotten dressed in everything but his lab coat, brushed out his mane of crimson locks and tied them to the nape of his neck, and wolfed down 4 Pop-Tart pastries as he grabbed his wallet and all but ran out the door, all in 25.9 minutes flat. _Record time; _Demyx was practically spouting tears of joy...or now that Axel thought about it, he'd been laughing so hard he was hunched over with tears in his eyes... but that wasn't going to rain on _this_ pharmacist's parade.

Not even Mr. Vexen's creepy glares would wither Axel's smirk as he got to work _ten minutes early _with the remnants of a vicious hangover. He looking presentable and, even better, sexier then usual! Axel entered Moogleland, winked at Big Tits the Ditsy Cashier Chick, and made his way back to the Pharmacy section. A lab technician smiled happily at him as a rather nasty-looking man with a scar along his neck stumbled off with a plastic bag full of Elixir. It was great to be twenty-five.

A few hours, mothers with cold-ridden children, and old ladies absolutely _convinced_ they were going to die in 2.796 days unless they had _this_ right _now _later, Axel was crouched down, sorting out prescriptions when he heard the ding of the silver bell on the counter.

Axel was paired with a fellow pharmacist today, Sarabi, a very nice woman in her late thirties. Her late husband had been CEO of a Fortune 500 company (one of the top one hundred) and had died protecting their son Simba, who Axel had seen once or twice. He was shocked as to why someone with no doubt millions of dollars had decided to work _here_ and the woman had smiled, saying that she wanted to work close to where Simba's high school was until he finished his education. The redhead gained respect for the woman; she obviously loved her son if she'd given up a better job at a better place for _this_.

"I got it, Sar'," He shooed the young, motherly African-American pharmacist back into the lab as she poked her head out questioningly, and raised his voice to the customer, "I'm coming, one sec,"

Satisfied with his work, Axel straightened up and turned to face a young man he hadn't quite seen before. "Sorry about that, may I please see your prescription and ID?" He asked politely of the boy.

He had flaxen, golden hair that peeked out from under a hood, spiked in the oddest directions and covered it covered the boy's eyes slightly, and a pointed face that seemed to be slightly sunken in and _very _haunted. He was wearing a simple black hoodie with a checkered design on the inside, and as far as Axel could see in his quick one-over of the customer, nothing was too off about him.

The boy quirked his lips upward and slid him a clean off-white sheet of doctor's prescription paper for an amount of OxyContin that was perfectly legal, if a bit high in the dose, the boy's ID, and then murmured, "Please put it on auto pay," in an even, soft voice.

Axel nodded, momentarily surprised by the striking blue-grey of the short male's eyes before he completed the transaction, eyes roving over the information on the boy's Identification Card. Name's Roxas, boy, twenty years old... twenty?!. _OxyContin? Poor kid, at twenty years, too..._He smiled softly. "Be back in a sec!" before turning and disappearing down one row full of neat cubicles and medicine.

* * *

_Roxas POV_

Roxas walked the mile and a half to Mooglemart, the walk helping circulate the blood in his system and stretch out his aching bones. He'd worn a soft cotton hoodie jacket to cover up how anorexic and _sick_ he looked, and the heavily clouded sky helped his sensitive eyes adjust to the bright natural light.

He made sure he'd brushed his hair out and cleaned himself as best as possible with a soapy cloth. When Roxas was less inebriated some days, he felt to some amount _disgusted _by his unkempt and sometimes even unsanitary appearance, and used the perfectly functional washer and dryer unit in a large walk-in closet to toss in dirty clothes (most of his whole wardrobe) while he went out, cleaned himself, etcetera.

Roxas made his way inside the bright, fakely cheery chain-store and looked around calmly before heading back to the Pharmacy section.

"I'm coming, one sec!" He'd heard from behind and under the counter. Waiting quietly, he observed the store around him, listened to the tasteless music that was playing, and finally, the pharmacist made himself shown.

"Sorry about that," He'd said, and Roxas had handed over the prescription note with his 'mother's' signature, and his own ID.

The first word that came to mind when Roxas looked up at the other's face was _lion._

The man looked like a lion. His fierce flaming hair was tied back but it was as if the hair was threatening to rip free, a few locks falling into his face. High, defined cheekbones had two splotches of black on them, and he had the most distinct color of eye Roxas had sworn he'd ever seen: piercing, uninhibited jade. When those eyes connected with his own he flushed slightly, knowing it was rude to stare, and dropped his gaze.

Roxas, though calm on the outside, started to have a mild panic attack as the man disappeared. _Nonononono what if he saw my eyes all clouded? Would he think I'm high or just have an eye problem? What is my face looked like one of a drug addict's... oh god what if they know about me?! Shitshitshitshitfuckshit_

"Get it together, Rox," Roxas murmured quietly to himself, rolling his eyes. His imagination was one of the worst monsters to roam the world.

Momentarily, the rather handsome pharmacist returned with a small white plastic bag in hand. "Thank you for shopping at Moogleland, insert standard blahblah-- I mean, thanks for using our services, come again," The redhead chuckled, smirking a bit impishly as he gave the blonde a dorky grin. Roxas smiled back tentatively and turned to walk to the entrance. "You too," he replied softly before leaving the curiously colored pharmacist and the store to return home.

But those intelligent green eyes and crimson, blood-red hair had burned into Roxas' hazed head, even if his name and the specifics of where he'd met the other deserted him. All Roxas could think were blurs of red, dashes of jade, and small flecks of onyx floating in his mind.

****~*****~****

**Author's Note: Eee! Roxas and Axel cross paths! And seriously, I think Roxas' brain is working right in one way at least because who could forget seeing a tall, fire-red and leaf-green (snorts) pokemo--I mean man that has irrisistably sexy looks and deserves to be in an AXE commercial working behind a counter of a store? I definently wouldnt, even if I'd reduced myself to a vegetable. ;D Anyhow, did you enjoy this chapter? I certiantly hope you did, because it needed to be done. I _have no beta editor_and I realize that some commas may not be in place, some 'wasnt's have no " ' "'s between the n and t and so on, so hopefully when I'll get a beta to be my grammar whore. c:**


	3. Easy Way Out

The Easy Way Out.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor gain any monetary value from writing this fiction. Insert standard blah blah blah here. **

**Author's Apology: Hey guys. I really, really apologize for not updating. I'm so sorry, because it pisses me off when writers don't update consistently. I've just been extremely busy (school and life is a pain, yes?) Major events are looming close ahead and I've just been trying to survive family coming and end of the first quarter of school and the like. So, please expect a new chapter at the latest every month, unless I have a spur-of-the-moment type of ordeal. I'm truly sorry. Don't give up on me!  
**

**Second: I was halfway finished with this chapter, then IE decided to freeze and delete 8 out of 10 paragraphs. Tch. Then I lost my inspiration for about two weeks and am now writing.**

***EDIT: In the first chapter, I put that Roxas lived in Traverse Town. I am now changing that to Twilight Town. Thanks.**

**OH, AND JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO UPLOAD THIS, I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF A GOOD TITLE. The title I thought up sounded like a familiar song and I googled it. It wasn't the song I was thinking of but amazing anyhow. The song is I Dreamed a Dream by Fantine (maybe a cover? I don't think it's the original artist). It matches my story's Roxas and Xion perfectly. DON'T WORRY, THIS IS NOT A SONGFIC. NOT. A. SONGFIC. Those I do not like. I just think it fits amazingly (Just replace 'he' with 'she'.)  
**

_''He slept a summer by my side  
He filled my days with endless wonder  
He took my childhood in his stride  
But he was gone when autumn came_

_And still I dream he'll come to me  
That we will live the years together  
But there are dreams that cannot be  
And there are storms we cannot weather_

_I had a dream my life would be  
So different from this hell I'm living  
So different now from what it seemed  
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed."_

**Enjoy!**

_****~*****~****_

_A warm tangerine glow spread across all of Twilight Town, the sky lit with the vivid colors of the forever setting sun. People were happily meandering about, enjoying the warmth of the perfect early autumn day: Not hot, with that hint of chill foreshadowing the upcoming months._

_Ebony hair fluttered slightly in a gentle breeze as a lithe girl sat on the curb of a street. Her arms rested against her knees as she held her ice cream in one, but the periwinkle blue treat was unattended to: Slowly melting, little blue drops of liquefied ice cream slowly trailed their way down the dessert. It's owner seemed to be focused on the red bricks that made up the road just up ahead of her but she was lost in thought._

_"Xion?" Roxas had just ended his shift at his halftime job, a small but popular pizza parlor a few blocks away from this residential area. His voice was laced with worry as he sat next to her on the cement curb and copied her position, an ice-cold Sea Salt Ice Cream from a street vendor a few minutes away in his hand. "You've been acting like this all day..."_

_Startled electric blue eyes met inquisitive ones of the same exact color as the skinny girl snapped out of her daydream, "Oh, Roxas! I'm sorry..." She apologized, but her features rapidly shifted from surprised to saddened and she turned her eyes back to the brick street. Roxas slowly took a bite out of the corner of his ice cream and contemplated the situation quietly, eyes looking out over the treetops and buildings before he turned back to her._

_"C'mon, Xion," He said, posture straightening up as he nudged her arm, "You've been acting like this all week!" The blond exclaimed, trying to cheer up his raven haired friend, "You're eating the best ice cream in _existence_, you didn't have to to school today and you've got me. You're not happy and you have_ that_?" He said teasingly, hoping Xion would crack a smile, or at least_ something_. At least her eyes could light up, or she could snap out of that reverie. It scared him. _

_Taking a quiet bite of her now barely solidified ice cream, Xion turned her attention to him and rolled her eyes, chuckling a bit. "I should be_ happy_? Hehe, well, I guess you are right Roxas....You do put a smile on my face.. It's just... I've been thinking..." Xion finished the rapidly melting ice cream before she spoke._

_Roxas nodded in encouragement. "Yeah?" He asked, deeply worried for his friend. Xion was so...so_ nice_, it made him afraid to see her like this, upset and melancholy like this._

_"There's...there's something better...then...this, right?" She asked in a quiet, small voice, turning her worried eyes that looked so _wounded _toward Roxas. He'd seen those eyes before: He'd worn that expression once, when he felt that everything was going to hell. "Never mind!" A smile suddenly broke out on her face, and her eyes sparkled, looking like blue diamonds._

_Startled at the sudden change in her attitude and expression, Roxas blinked in confusion, "Better then what, Xi?" But he dropped it at at that, a smiling, happy Xion was better then upset and melancholy Xion._

_Suddenly, Xion jumped up, hopping right to her feet. She took a wide step, standing in front of Roxas, planting petite hands on slender hips. "Rox-aaas, eat your ice cream! It's dripping!" She trilled, and Roxas' brows furrowed in confusion. "C'mon, silly! Roxas! Rooooxas! You should be_ honored _I'm sitting on a bed like_ this_! ROXAS!"_

"ROXAS!"

"Ngh?" Roxas snapped out of his dream and was rudely awakened to a boiling lava headache and other painful ailments. The blond shielded his eyes from the Sun, which for some odd reason currently took residence in his living room. A loud groan erupted from his lips as he shut his eyes. "Holy sh...shit...how the f'ck did ya get in...inside?"

A disgusted scoff sounded from somewhere nearby and he directed what attention a stoned, rudely-awakened druggie could muster up towards that direction. "How did I get inside? Roxas Meguriau-Kagi, they're called _unlocked doors_, but no, I guess you're too doped up to _lock_ them or _know_ they were unlocked, aren't you? Now, get _up_!" The voice said, loud and crisp, and it's owner clapped her hands together to make a loud, sharp sound that made Roxas' sensitive eardrums feel as if they were getting stabbed. He winced.

The disoriented blond groaned and turned slowly on his side. "Turn off the...the damn lights...and I..I will..." He moaned, eyes shut tight, "Jesus...Olette, ya can't...ya can't... do that to me... I can't ju...just get up...like that..."

Olette clucked her tongue disapprovingly and shook her head. "You need to go into detox, Roxas. You can't keep on living like this." Her voice was firm and wistful and had a hint of sadness laced in it, but the suggestion rolled off of the drugged Roxas like water on wax. He heard a few footsteps and things kicked around before the click of something, which he assumed was the lights. The red glow he saw behind his eyelids disappeared and he cracked open his eyes, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as the darkness soothed them. "Pence and Naminé and--"

Roxas lie flat on his back, reaching over for a bottle of pills before he popped two in his mouth, swallowing them dry. He ignored the last bit and cut her off, he didn't want to hear about Naminé now, he didn't want to think about her. "--I... can't, 'Lettie. N...not now... I won't..." He said, shaking his head as he looked at the wall, then to his friend.

The brown haired girl met his eyes before turning the the side, and Roxas saw her curled hair, but her face was hidden. "We miss you, Roxas, the whole gang does... please...the drugs aren't the final resort..." She whispered. Her hands were clasped behind her back and she was gripping her slender fingers together so hard the digits turned white.

But they were the final resort, Roxas thought. The blond boy watched her figure for a moment, he got the same speech every time, but this time it seemed as if...as if Olette was truly in despair, giving up, as if she thought it was a lost cause. "'Lettie..."

A moment later and Olette turned back around, untangling her fingers. She snapped them as she brought her hands to her chest and clasped them. "Well, Roxas, we're here for you. Please, please, _please _don't hesitate to ever call. I love ya, Rox. You're not alone, no matter what you think. Gods, you're not alone." She shook her head and let out a sigh, walking over to Roxas. Olette bent down and pecked his cheek before straightening up. "Be good, hon. I straightened up some before I woke ya, so things are a bit more organized. Bye, now..." She smiled and made her way out of the room, waving.

Minutes seemed to be long, endless hours as Roxas lay silently, gazing up at the dark ceiling, feeling very much sober and alone. Olette was wrong, he thought. He _was _alone, he was damned to an eternity of solitude without Xion. _She _damned him to an eternity of solitude because she died. If it wasn't for that, Roxas would have never started this nasty habit. If it wasn't for his best friend dying like _that_, he would have never tried the drugs, would have never gotten in with those people.

But she did.

And Roxas did.

So he'd sleep, and he'd get high, and he'd dream, because dream worlds were better then real life, dream worlds had Xion and happy days and all the Sea Salt Ice Cream he could handle and wonderful memories of school and fun and the beach.

Because Roxas got to dream of Xion, happy memories, and hee got to _not_ dream of her at those bad times, and instead simply lie on a cloud of oblivion, not having to think of the hurt, or anything. He _couldn't_. He just _couldn't _become clean again, and have to think about that painful memory every day... because Olette and Pence and the others _were _his dear friends but they could never amount to Xion.

He'd never, ever be friends on that level with anyone...ever again.

He could never allow himself to trust anyone on that level again.

* * *

_Axel POV_

Long, slender digits drummed impatiently on a gray steering wheel as Axel glared daggers at the slug-slow rush-hour traffic in front of him. He'd taken a day shift in the pharmacy to cover for one of only three pharmacists that worked at the Whispering Trees Moogleland. All the other stores seemed to have an army of them and an intern or two, but _no,_ Axel seethed, _this _Moogleland had three pharmacists and about a million of those god damn interns. They were like rabbits in a briar patch!

"Ngh, come ON!" He roared at the car in front of him, but his demand was unheeded, as it was impossible to do so and the driver in front couldn't hear him. With a huff, he slumped against his seat, and his phone promptly rang with the ring tone that irritated him.

"Yes?" He flipped open the phone and answered it in what he thought was a calm, controlled voice.

"Hah, you get caught in rush?"

"How the fuck did you know?" Axel rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of defeat that sounded like a snarl.

"'Cause your voice is always sharp and kinda high pitched when you're pissed off and try to control it. Hee... So, Mister Road Rage, wanna whip yo' stick out and have a couple of beers n' play some pool with me n' Xiggy at that place near the old manor?"

Axel snorted and rolled his vivid jade eyes, "Dem, you are _so wrong_. And sure."

"Hey, ya rubbed off on me, so what can I say? And sweet! Meet us there in an hour and a half, 'Kay?" Demyx chattered happily on the other line.

Traffic started to move and Axel sighed in relief, gently applying pressure to his car's gas pedal as he slowly moved forward. "You got it. Later."

"Bye!!"

Axel clicked his phone shut and pressed a button on his stereo, changing the song from heavy metal that helped fueled his road rage to seductive, energizing techno that made electricity rush along his body.

Long frame moving along to the beat, it seemed to make the whole ride much shorter.

* * *

The pool hall was on the opposite side of a ridiculously popular restaurant, and parking was nonexistent as both venues shared one parking area. Shaking his head, Axel rolled his eyes and drove out of the crowded area, hunting for a spot nearby: he knew he'd find one at the old Cracked Wall store, as it's owners closed at four thirty and there were plenty of parking spots behind the building. The redhead exited his car and locked it, gazing to his right at the large manor, there was a light on in one of the ground floor rooms.

_I thought nobody lived there...huh._ The thought flitted through Axel's head for a second before he shrugged to himself and made his way to the pool hall.

"Well, lookie what the cat dragged in.." Xigbar, a buff man with wild hair and a black eye patch (Axel and Demyx, to this day, had no clue if it was for decoration or to cover an eye injury, and their last attempt to see under it resulted in Axel nearly having his arm broken by an asleep Xigbar) raised a beer holding in welcome and grinned toothily. "Yer just in time, Axel. We wer just about to start without ya, Red."

Axel smirked and nodded, going over to the bar to grab his own drink before coming to greet his friends. It was a tradition that they all started off with the same type of drink before they played. "Parking's a pain in the ass," He rolled his eyes and shook his head, "A family restaurant next to a bar-pool hall... they're out of their minds. Good thing the 'straunt closes at nine, or they'd have trouble."

The redhead sauntered over to the pool cue display and picked one out, coming back to the table. Picking up a small piece of chalk on the corner of the table, he started rubbing it along the clue's tip as Demyx grinned at him and started putting the pool balls in position. For a moment, they all took a swig of their beers and all tried to chug them, but Demyx was the first to cough and splutter, Axel second because he'd started to laugh at Demyx, and Xigbar drunk the whole beer down, a smirk on his face. "Axel and I are on a team, eight ball, n' I go first~." The rough looking man hummed in satisfaction, "You beer-bitches go sip yer margaritas n' watch a master, yeah?"

"You're full of crap, Xiggy, I'm just a social drinker," Demyx retorted lamely, but he agreed: He liked the sweeter kinds of alcohol if he drank at all, and Xigbar teased him for being a ''bitch-drinker" (the wild man's nicknames for everyone got worse as he got more inebriated).

Axel snorted and shook his head, watching Xigbar rack up the balls and analyze the pool table for the perfect shot, and downed the rest of his drink, "So am I, but you just _fail_. Fail fail fail."

"But I'll kick your asses at pool so shaddap." Demyx quipped right back, rolling the cue stick in his hands as Xigbar began the game.

* * *

A few hours and drinks later, the trio's unorthodox games of pool resulted in exactly what Demyx claimed: He did kick ass, at least until everyone started getting buzzed off of the alcoholic drinks. Then Xigbar and Axel won, and Demyx eventually gave up.

"'Ey guys, it's only like... eleven, let's go walk 'round, yeah?" Demyx meandered over to the cue rack and replaced his cue stick, Axel and Xigbar following suit. Xigbar, a heavy drinker, was finishing off his seventh beer, claiming he was ''only getting started''.

Xigbar nodded vigorously, tilting his head back to drink the last few drops of the amber liquid before he set the glass down on the table. "Walk around? 'Ey, blondie, 'ere not in high school anymore." He said, laughing, but he didn't disagree. Axel had no qualms against it either.

"Let's go check out that mansion, nobody lives there, and they say that it's haunted." He stuck out his tongue teasingly, "Poor Demyx might just piss his pants like he's in kindergarten." The blond man spluttered and scowled at him. "Th-that was _one time_ and Jesus that was _scary_, Axel! That substitute made...made _The Grudge_ look like a housewife that baked cookies with smiley faces on 'em for her kids when they got home from school!" He whined, running his hands through his dirty-blond hair as they walked outside.

Axel rolled his eyes and smirked at Xigbar. "Mhm, sure she did. And then, when you had her for anatomy class in high school and she brought out the scalpels...you looked like you'd seen your mother murdered." The blond man whined and tried to make comebacks but when Axel and Xigbar started laughing, he joined in too.

The redhead led them along a dark, leafy trail in between thick, lush forest, and moments later they arrived at one corner of the large mansion. Thick curtains blocked most windows from anyone seeing in, but the trio could see a light was on from a small corner that was uncovered. Axel, ever the bold and daring person, snuck up to the wall and crouched low, peeking into the house.

He strained to see from the tiny crack and put all his attention into it, which allowed a mischievous Xigbar to sneak up right behind him. "Whaddya see?" The man asked in a deep, amused voice, centimeters from Axel's ear.

"SHIT!" The other male jumped in surprise, accidentally tapping hard against the window. "Holy shit, you idiot! Don't creep up on me like that!" He hissed furiously, feeling his heart beat fast. Xigbar let out a barking laugh and a loud thump could be heard from outside. "Get back in the brush!" Axel ordered, pushing the bigger male into the protection of the vegetation.

Silent, tense moments passed before the curtains rustled and were drawn back. A figure shrouded in light looked out warily, it's hands pressed against the glass.

"Who is _that_?" Demyx asked in an excited whisper, eyebrows raised as he unsteadily rested his arms against Axel and Xigbar's backs. Axel shook his head, eyes straining to get a better look at the person.

The figure had messy blond hair that stuck up at an odd angle and framed his face. It was a male, and thin, way too thin arms pressed against the glass. A white t-shirt covered his frame and the wide collar rest low on a flat chest that seemed to be flawless except for what seemed to be the start of a scar on his sternum, but it was too dark to tell. Electric blue eyes slowly scanned the landscape and blond brows furrowed in confusion. He slowly brought up a thin hand to run it through his locks and shook his head a bit unsteadily, and then snorted.

The blond male slowly mouthed ten words to himself, as if it made him tired to say them, and successfully closed the blinds all the way. The three men stayed silent for a few more moments, then Demyx broke the silence. "So, I guess someone does live there... I wonder what he said? He seemed kinda...sick lookin' to me."

Xigbar shrugged his broad shoulders and snorted. "Who knows? 'E kinda looks familiar, from when I worked at the Moogleland in Sunset Terrace a few years back, but I'm shit with faces..."

Demyx nodded. "Yeah, ya usually give us nicknames, so if you do remember him some you prolly gave him one."

Vivid green eyes were still trained on the house, crimson eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought. Had Axel seen that person before? He'd go through hundreds of customers every shift, though, so he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, if he's sick, my Moogleland's close to this house....Who knows? I don't know him." He dismissed thoughts of the mysterious boy and stood up. "Well, you suckers can go roll around in the dirt but I'm getting back. There's a television and pizza with my name on it." The tall man smirked, and stumbling, laughing, and swearing, all three ran down the trail, acting like boys instead of men.

But the words that the curious boy mouthed swam around in the redhead's mind, words that troubled him. He wasn't exactly sure what the blond had said, but the worst Axel's mind could muster up chilled him. _"These narcs must be strong shit...I must be trippin.."_

****~*****~****

**AN: So what did you think? This is the longest chapter I've ever written for a story, lol, I hope it wasn't boring or drag on! I'll try to get as many chapters out as quickly as possible, and I'm still betaless. Anyone have any ideas or things they'd like to see in the story? **

**Meguriau-Kagi is Roxas' last name. I am HORRIBLE at making up surnames for characters, unless they have one. BUT NO, THEY DON'T. His last name is a literal translation of ''Serendipitous Key", a.k.a. The Key of Destiny.**

**No, Xigbar does not work at Moogleland TOO. He worked there for a short period for some summer money but now he works at a gun shop. Go figure. ;D**

**Yeah, Axel doesn't recognize Roxy, he'd only seen**** him for about two minutes, and if you work at a restaurant or a busy venue you know you probably wouldn't either, seeing hundreds or thousands of faces a day. Buuut, pharmacists are SUPPOSED to ask for your address, so we'll see... ;) Next time! And hopefully Next Time will be much sooner.**

**I love you guys, and I love your reviews tons too. Your support makes me smile and want to work harder! Happy two-days-after-Thanksgiving~! -loves-**


	4. Important

Hello everyone~ ^^

It's been so long since I've updated, hasn't it? I sincerely apologize, and I want you all to know I've not abandoned my stories, and never will.

I've just had a lot of things happen to me in the months since I've updated last, for the better and for the worse. I went on a hiatus from anime and many of the things I enjoyed but I've finally started to find them again.

Anyhow, as you have noticed- if you even bothered to remain loyal to this fic (and I'm very touched that you have...thank you!)- this is not a new chapter. On the contrary, this is an author's note, which I'm not supposed to devote a chapter to, but I had to.

I am going to completely give both this fic and my other chapter-fiction a complete makeover. I re-read them both and nearly gagged on numerous occasions; they need lots and lots of work. And work shall be done; I plan on rewriting what I've deemed necessary of "plastic surgery", making the chapters MUCH longer (or as long as I can stand, haha), scourging for any typos and grammatical errors, and tweaking the plot as needed.

If you still bother to read this I would absolutely LOVE any advice or input you have for me. Seriously, I don't care if it's "Demyx seems too retarded" to "You talk to much", "Keep up the good work" or "Wtf is that even a word?" and "I liked this, hated that and I think you could fix it by (insert advice here)." (Or all of that combined!)

Also, while I can't promise that I'll churn out chapters on a definite schedule, I WILL try my damnedest to make sure that there won't be a five month wait in between them. My schedule is hectic, but I love writing fanfiction and reading it. It annoys the heck out of me to read something I'm intrigued in and then have to wait ten million years for an update.

So please, bear with me. I have many changes I plan on making. Please feel free to give me any imput, and most importantly...

Thank you for reading, and your patience.

It does not go unnoticed.

-Rayne


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